‘I Can’t Deal With This Third World Culture’: NRI’s Painful Return to Bengaluru Sparks Debate on Reverse Migration
A 40-year-old non-resident Indian (NRI) software engineer who moved back to Bengaluru after a decade in the United States says he now regrets the decision and is preparing to relocate again, this time to Germany, according to a detailed personal account shared on Reddit. His story has renewed debate over reverse migration, quality of life in Indian metros, and the cultural and emotional challenges many returning NRIs face.
The Promise of Returning Home
The Bengaluru-based engineer, who has not disclosed his name publicly, wrote that he had spent around 10 years in the United States, working in technology hubs such as the Bay Area and Seattle after completing his master’s degree. During that time, he says he built a “comfortable life,” embraced outdoor hobbies, and accumulated savings of roughly US$2 million, along with a fully paid home waiting for him in India.
According to his Reddit post, the decision to return to India was driven by a mix of family and lifestyle considerations: the desire to “slow down,” raise his two children near extended family in Bengaluru, and enjoy what he and his spouse hoped would be a more grounded, less frenetic life. The presence of a mortgage-free house in the city, he suggests, made the plan seem financially sound.
“We thought we could shield ourselves from the hassles,” he reportedly wrote, referring to the strains of metropolitan life, adding that he underestimated how much Indian metro conditions had changed and how difficult they had become for daily living.
Life in the United States: Stability and Outdoor Freedom
In his account, the engineer describes a largely positive experience in the US, particularly around work culture, physical infrastructure, and access to nature. He notes that his years in the Bay Area and Seattle were marked by predictable commutes, cleaner air, and regular engagement in outdoor activities—elements he associates with a higher perceived quality of life.
While specific employers and salary figures were not disclosed, his claim of having saved about US$2 million over a decade aligns with anecdotal reports from senior engineering professionals in high-paying US tech roles, especially in regions with stock-heavy compensation packages. The financial cushion, he says, gave him and his spouse confidence that they could afford to experiment with a return to India.
The engineer’s description mirrors a common pattern documented in migration research, where NRIs in mid-career feel a pull back to their country of origin after establishing financial security abroad. Studies on the Indian diaspora, such as reports from the OECD and India’s Ministry of External Affairs, have noted an increase in such “return migration” cases, often tied to family responsibilities and an emotional connection to home.
Return to Bengaluru: Expectations vs. Reality
After relocating with his wife and two children to Bengaluru, the engineer says he quickly confronted a gap between expectations and reality. In his Reddit post, he reportedly describes struggling with traffic congestion, pollution, noise, and what he calls a “third world culture,” a phrase that has drawn criticism online for its tone and perceived insensitivity.
He writes that he had believed a combination of financial security and a privately owned home would insulate his family from many day-to-day challenges. Instead, he claims, the experience of navigating Bengaluru’s roads, public spaces, and local bureaucracy has been overwhelming. “I didn’t realize Indian metros had become so difficult to live in,” he notes, adding that basic tasks can feel draining.
Bengaluru, often described as India’s technology capital, has long grappled with rapid urbanization, infrastructure bottlenecks, and air-quality concerns. Studies by advocacy group Centre for Science and Environment and data from World Health Organization have repeatedly ranked Indian metros among the world’s most polluted urban centers, although Bengaluru typically fares better than Delhi and some northern cities. Nonetheless, recurring complaints from residents focus on traffic jams, flooding during heavy rains, and inconsistent civic services.
Planning a Second Move: Germany as the “Escape”
Faced with these difficulties, the engineer says he is now preparing to move again—this time to Germany. While he does not provide a detailed breakdown of his plans, his Reddit comments suggest he views Germany as a middle path between the US and India: a country with comparatively strong social services, public transport, and work–life balance, yet closer to India than North America in terms of time zone and travel distance.
Germany has become an increasingly popular destination for skilled Indian professionals in technology, engineering, and research. According to Germany’s Federal Statistical Office, the Indian population in the country has grown rapidly over the past decade, supported by policies that facilitate highly skilled immigration. Initiatives such as the EU Blue Card and, more recently, Germany’s Skilled Immigration Act have made it easier for non-EU professionals to secure residence and work permits.
For the Bengaluru engineer, this prospective move is framed as another “escape” from what he experiences as the stresses of life in an Indian metro. However, as some commentators on Reddit have pointed out, resettling in Germany brings its own challenges, including language barriers, integration into a different culture, and navigating European immigration rules.
Online Reactions: Sympathy, Criticism and Broader Debate
The engineer’s story, shared on Reddit’s India-focused communities, has prompted a wide range of reactions, reflecting broader divisions in how people view both life abroad and life in Indian metros.
- Sympathetic responses: Some users identified with his struggles, citing their own challenges with reverse culture shock, crowds, noise, and what they described as the “mental load” of managing everyday tasks in large Indian cities after years abroad.
- Critical responses: Others objected strongly to his reference to “third world culture,” arguing that the phrase was dismissive of India’s social realities and ignored positive aspects of community life, resilience, and rapid economic growth.
- Practical advice: A third group focused on problem-solving, suggesting he explore quieter neighbourhoods, hybrid or remote work options, or even relocating to smaller Indian cities before deciding on another international move.
While Reddit usernames and direct quotes are not reproduced here to protect privacy, the discussion reflects a broader national conversation about what returning NRIs can realistically expect. Many pointed out that reverse culture shock—difficulty re-adjusting to norms, behaviours and systems back home—is a well-documented phenomenon that can take months or even years to overcome.
Reverse Migration: A Growing but Complex Trend
The engineer’s case is one of many examples emerging from India’s large diaspora community, estimated at over 32 million people worldwide. In recent years, multiple anecdotal accounts have surfaced of NRIs returning from countries such as the US, Canada, and the UK—some enthusiastically embracing life back home, others expressing regrets or reconsidering their decisions.
Earlier this year, another widely shared online post featured a Canadian NRI who said life abroad had begun to feel “robotic,” prompting a return to India after five years. That story highlighted trade-offs in the opposite direction: the emotional comfort of being closer to family and a familiar culture, even as some material conveniences are sacrificed.
Research on migration patterns suggests that return decisions are influenced by a mix of factors:
- Family obligations, including caring for ageing parents and raising children in a familiar cultural environment.
- Career opportunities in India’s expanding technology, startup, and services sectors.
- Shifts in immigration policy or job security in destination countries.
- Personal perceptions of identity, belonging and long-term life goals.
However, as the Bengaluru engineer’s experience indicates, a successful financial or career trajectory abroad does not necessarily guarantee an easy transition back to India’s fast-changing urban landscape.
Quality of Life in Indian Metros: Competing Perspectives
Quality of life in cities such as Bengaluru, Mumbai and Delhi remains a subject of intense debate. International indices frequently rank these metros lower than many Western cities on parameters such as air quality, commute times and access to public infrastructure. Yet they also score better on social support networks, domestic help availability, and opportunities in high-growth sectors.
Urban planners and sociologists note that while cities like Bengaluru have developed thriving technology ecosystems, infrastructure growth has struggled to keep pace with population increases and vehicle ownership. Reports from organizations such as World Economic Forum and UN Department of Economic and Social Affairs have repeatedly flagged the pressures on housing, transport, and public health in rapidly growing cities across the Global South.
At the same time, many residents and returnees emphasise positives, including strong community ties, diverse food and cultural scenes, and growing professional networks. For some NRIs, these aspects outweigh the drawbacks; for others, including the engineer at the centre of this story, they appear insufficient to offset daily frustrations.
Scenes From Bengaluru and Global Migration
Conclusion: A Personal Story Reflecting Wider Questions
The unnamed engineer’s account from Bengaluru does not represent every NRI return experience, but it highlights tensions that many migrants navigate: the pull of family and familiarity versus the push of daily practical challenges; the appeal of global mobility versus the desire for stability and belonging.
As India’s cities continue to expand and as countries like the US, Canada and Germany compete for skilled workers, stories like this one are likely to remain part of a broader conversation about where “home” is, what quality of life means, and how both individuals and policymakers respond to the realities of modern migration.
